So today I didn’t go to school because I was feeling sick / didn’t have change for the bus in the morning, so instead of a blog here’s a list of things I think Japan should teach America.
10. How to include papers for throwing away your gum when you are done in packs without wrappers
So this does sort of seem trivial, but really, people from 4 different countries (China, Germany, America, Singapore) were astonished by how simple and how smart it is to include a little packet of paper in packs of chiclet-style gum. I hate it when I’m chewing gum that comes in pop out packets when I have nothing to throw it away in, as I’m sure other people agree, because high schools are covered in black spots that once were pieces of gum. Anyway, simple as it is, we were all impressed with simple ingenuity.
9. How to have amazing games at arcades
I don’t really like arcades, but after being in Japan for a while I’ve discovered that they can actually be fun, provided they have good things to play. We in America definitely underplay the crane game by making it possible to win, but only crappy prizes. See, in Asia, the claw machines are basically impossible…but you have so much to win! There are ones with DSs inside, ones with ice cream, ones with chocolate, ones with TV dinners (yes!), ones with live beetles to keep as pets (unless they’ve been in the machine too long), ones with vacuums, ones with cars! At only a dollar a try, you can’t help but try and win a car…or chocolate. Even if it never works. Occasionally though, you win something cute and small, like a hairclip or Rilakkuma doll, and it makes it worth going back.
Besides claw games, though, Japan seems to have really big-screened games that simply entrance you and games that are interactive in the strangest ways (like providing you with a virtual whip with which you whip ghosts(?). I waste so much money on those things just out of curiosity.
8. How to cook pork
Really, in America, pork sucks. By no means am I talking about bacon, because we all know bacon is king. Also ham is excellent. But pork for pork’s sake sucks. I don’t know if it’s some very, very scary bacteria in the water, or whatever, but pigs just taste better in Japan (and Asia in general). I’ve never liked pork more, honest. I order it nearly everywhere, and cook it whenever I can. I’m not alone in feeling this way, either. Many Americans have expressed the same opinion while eating pork at a restaurant or bbq, with the same sad realization that we will have to go back to not liking it once we leave.
7. How to do cute
Japan, somehow, can make anything cute. Really. Anything. Many of you will see when you receive my postcards in the mail (provided they get to you). While here I’ve seen every kind of food with a cute face photoshopped on it. It’s adorable, even if creepy. I’ve seen cute poop, cute grass, cute subway doors, and cute beer. You cannot and will not understand the power of the cute upon consumerism until you visit Japan. When things are cute in America, you recognize the cuteness, and that is the end. In Japan, you NEED TO OWN THE CUTE, you NEED THE CUTE FOREVER BY YOUR SIDE.
6. How to do vending machines right
What is the general American idea of a vending machine? Well there are pretty much two types, right? One for drinks, and one for snacks. Simple. Also, they are pretty much always in cafeterias, gyms, dorms, building lobbies, etc. Simple.
What is the Japanese idea of a vending machine? Well, first off, in no way are they limited to drinks and snacks. Out the other day, I found a vending machine that sold hot ramen. How it emerged from the machine, I do not know. Also, there exist machines that sell socks, underwear, cigarettes, and various other daily goods. I don’t know about you, but I feel safer knowing if I needed underwear at some time in the morning when stores are normally closed, that I could easily go down to the ol’ underwear vending machine. Second, the Japanese believe vending machines should be EVERYWHERE. And I really mean everywhere when I say it. All over the city, where you’d least expect one (in an alleyway, in the middle of a parking lot) there one is. While there exist many kinds, there does seem to be a heavy prevalence of drink machines, which honestly confuses me. Drinks are sold every few square feet, and yet in Japan you will never find a Japanese person drinking unless they are sitting or resting somewhere. In America, vending machines are comparably sparse, and yet people eat and drink all over the place. It makes no sense, I say.
5. How to actually be nice
I don’t know what else to say about this. Japanese people have always been courteous, polite, quiet, friendly, helpful, and nice to me. I haven’t met anyone who I thought was rude. Just think about that, America. Think hard.
4. How to have a work ethic
So in Japan, even at fast food restaurants the employees take their job more seriously than most Americans. For example, when Anna, Max, and I went to Mos Burger, all we ordered were fries, because we were craving them. Max didn’t even order any. We sat at a table for a while, and then a lady brought our fries to us on a tray, in bowls. Actual bowls. She also brought us ice water in glasses, and brought Max one, too, even though he didn’t order anything. After we finished, she even told us not to help her clean up and took our food away with a smile, making sure to say thank you many times before we left.
Imagine that happening in a McDonalds.
Regardless, this sort of work ethic applies to every single person I’ve witnessed doing their job in Japan. Whether they worked at a huge company or fixed cars at a garage, every Japanese person I’ve seen working has done it with great determination and actual hard work. I’m really getting used to being such a spoiled customer…
3. How to sell books for amazingly cheap
Also not much to say. I bought Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, new, in hardcover for $3. Almost every paperback at every book store is about the same price. Wtf Barnes and Noble. Get on it.
2. How to do public transportation
Philly’s subways are disgusting. New York’s are mostly, as well. Los Angeles never even had the balls to build a subway that had more than 7 stops. All of these are pretty expensive, as well, not the easiest for newcomers to figure out, and sort of dangerous. Fukuoka’s subway system is completely different. It’s completely safe. Honest. Subway crime is almost nonexistent. It’s clean. Literally no pee smell. Not once have I smelled it. It’s cheap. To get across town costs about $3 total. It’s easy to figure out. There are signs everywhere, in multiple languages, the price to get to each stop is written on the map, machines automatically tell you what to do to add money to a ticket that was not enough to go the distance you covered, etc. It’s also cute, as in the photo above.
1. How to treat women as secondary citizens
(kidding)
1. How to treat ramen like an actual dish, and not simply something only college students dare eat.
Once again, the actual Ramen.
Sad college version...
Seriously, the best food I’ve had in Fukuoka has been the ramen. Maybe it’s a combination of the fact that it’s way delicious and that it’s way cheap makes it more delicious, but either way eaten real ramen has opened my eyes to the sad, sad substitute we have always known. Real ramen noodles are actually delicious, and not wavy. Real ramen broth actually takes hours to make and requires complicated recipes. Real ramen has vegetables, meat, and various seasonings.
Since I’ve been here in Japan I’ve been to three or four different ramen restaurants, and they’ve all been pretty different, but all delicious and under $7 for the whole meal. At the very least it has inspired me to always have at least a tiny bit to add to store ramen when I cook it myself, because I did that at home, and even that tasted like a real meal.
Anyway, I suppose that’s enough.
